My boyfriend is What???

Where else but in Magical Marrakech can one enjoy a spot of peaceful reading?

I volunteered to interview Zoe's boyfriend for her new book My Boyfriend is a Twat.

This Twat comes from Ambleside in the English Lakes. (A few years ago, I lost an expensive camera in one of them!)
He was in mountain rescue. A few of them were in danger of crumbling.

Most of these gentle Lakemen hate the city. I know a couple who've never set foot outside Cumbria!
But, the Twat must have been really brave! He left the Lakes and headed for bloody Tanzania among other obscure places. Well, at least he must have felt at home surrounded by lakes, mountains and greenery.
A village chief christened him Quarsan but we all know him as The Twat.
Well, can you blame Zoe for calling him just that? The first time they met, he presented her with a bouquet of sausages!! What a guy!

I read the book and found a lot in common with the Twat. My Mediterranean-North-African-Macho alter-ego blushes in shame.
He left the North of England to go to Africa. I did the opposite.

Zoe says he loves Edinburgh. It is my favourite British city!
He knows the unknown Greek island of Evia and so do I.
He met a girl with three kids and so did I.
He's the boss in the kitchen... And guess what!

So here we go... My questions were BOLD.

1- Reading between the lines, I feel that Zoe does love you a lot really. Would you worry if she stopped calling you The Twat?

It's not what she calls me that bothers me, it's the volume.

There are indeed three sides to every argument. Yours, hers and hers...

2- Zoe says you hog the kitchen. Don't you trust her cooking?

Pissed women shouldn't cook.

It's dangerous. She refuses to do any cooking, so I do it. It's painful at times thinking of what to cook people and working out how many to feed. On top of that the kids like to eat 7:30 - 8:00 and Zoe at 9:00 but we must all eat together.

Have ever thought about running a restaurant?

3- I received two free copies of Zoe's book. Who do you think I should give the second one to?

Oxfam. Or security at Eurostar so they can stop her entering the country and bothering innocent people.

Which country? England or Belgium?

4- I didn't know Evia existed until a Greek friend of mine invited me to visit his home on that island. What took you there? And do you know what Zoe means in Greek?

I went to visit my brother in law's parents. Zoe in Greek means trouble.
You know that Zoe means life. But as they say Life means life... Good luck, my friend!

5- Who would you like to play you and Zoe in the film version of the book?

If it was a musical I'd be tempted to cast Amy Whitehouse and Meatloaf, but for a film, why not go for it: Kylie and Jason.
I knew you couldn't help mentioning Kylie! I just hope Zoe's not too jealous...


Buy My Boyfriend is a Twat '>here!