A series of anecdotes with or without any connection to the running of a restaurant.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


As it is nearly Christmas and I don't want to be a humbug I will not go on about the number of lights that adorn the house at this present moment.
Carla said something about electricity bill so here goes...

I sometimes get the feeling that Karen is keeping something away from me.

Like the fact that our house may be directly linked to the National Grid or that her great-great-grandfather was Thomas Edison and for his brilliant invention, all his descendants get free electricity for life.

She believes in switching on every light possible long before it gets dark and to a predestined pattern so that we are ready at all times to welcome an eventual visit from the Queen or the Pope.

Just before we go out, she switches on our bedroom’s three lamps, the landing light, just in case there is a stray Condorde in the area, the cooker hood light to give the kitchen a cozy feel, all the lights in the conservatory, maybe a couple of dozen candles and the fan heater just to keep the wooden animals warm.
The garden water feature is also left to whir away throughout the winter.

A conservative estimate of our electricity consumption would not be far from that of Blackpool Illuminations.
My vain protests invariably fall on deaf ears and usually lead to a long frosty spell.
“Scrooge should be your middle name, you!” she will snap.

Sometimes, on our way out, I will pretend to have forgotten something, slip back up to the bedroom and cunningly switch one of the lamps off.
On our return, Karen will not fail to notice the enormous black hole. She will check the bulb then scratch and shake her head.
I will be in the toilet hiding and sniggering like Muttley of the Wacky Races.

Most nights she goes to bed before me leaving all the downstairs lights on.

It is therefore my unwilling duty to do the rounds and switch everything off before I head for the sack.
“Cooker hood, check, dining room light, check, dining room standard lamp, check, dining room table lamp, check, conservatory, check…”

Half an hour later, I will get into bed glowing and buzzing with static.
...And she will wonder why I wake her up.

At Christmas, please feel free to add at least half an hour to the switching off duty.
The photo is a of a wind turbine situated about half a mile from our house.


Blogger Guyana-Gyal said...

Santa Cream, you scrooge you, counting every little light HAHAHAHA.

I think Karen forgot to leave on the bathroom light before she goes out. I think she's related to my mum.

We finally got those energy saving bulbs.

They don't help.

Folks in villages steal electricity, so the light company just pads it on to other people's bill.

13/12/05 10:59 AM  
Blogger cream said...

I see you like Sant' Cream, eh, Gigi! I love acting Scrooge and moaning about Christmas, but my hands and feet are tied and my mouth is sellotaped!
Actually, in Algeria it's the same where people get their supply from the nearest pylon!
Sometimes with horrible consequences!

13/12/05 11:40 AM  
Blogger Viking054 said...

I wonder what it would take to attach one of those wind turbines to your house...

13/12/05 4:49 PM  
Blogger andrea said...

I'm with you, Scrooge. You're a pretty jolly-looking Scrooge, though, from your picture...

13/12/05 7:37 PM  
Blogger DCveR said...

Is it possible Karen and Good Half are related?

13/12/05 8:15 PM  
Blogger cream said...

Viking, I started digging a month ago. I am now under the golf club. I have made a hole in one... of the greens. I will reach the turbine by the summer.

Andrea, thanks for the support! Ho, ho, ho...

DC, you never know! Is GH related to the Portuguese Electricity Board president?

13/12/05 9:07 PM  
Blogger carla said...

My son planned his first trip to Europe around visiting windfarms somewhere in Belgium, I think, before going through many of the northern countries to see other sights. I never realized how huge those windmills are! On our home front, we are experimenting this year with extreme energy conservation. My Significant Other has decided that we should attempt, for as long as possible, to heat our entire house with one wood stove (which he spends an inordinate amount of time tending) without turning on the other heat. It helps some, but as the temperature continues to drop well below freezing, I am finding that I can barely feel my extremities. But...the electric bills will be much lower, so I won't complain too much. So far, there haven't been any battles about switching things on or off, but it may happen yet... Well, good luck with the switch brigade. Someone has to play Scrooge:>

14/12/05 1:15 AM  
Blogger ValGalArt said...

another hilarious post cream! funny stuff, you and karen. We have the turbines in the desert at Palm Springs. Rows and Rows.

14/12/05 2:41 AM  
Blogger Christine said...

Hi Cream,
Great post lol This is something that my husband and I bicker about all the time. We'll pull into the driveway after a night of shopping and every light is on and he'll give me that look. I usually give him one of these :P!!

14/12/05 7:52 AM  
Blogger DCveR said...

Unfortunately no, we do get stuck with the bills. But she also loves to light up everything.

14/12/05 9:02 AM  
Blogger cream said...

Carla, your Significant Other is a bit harsh! Freezing your extremities, that's nasty!
Well, as long as he does the hard work, let him get on with it. You just keep snuggle up in front of the fire...DCver knows a thing or two about that!

Val, Palm Springs! That's where I want to be for Xmas!

Penny, must be something common to women all over the world. They like to see their house lit up like in magazines...
And men's mission is to switch off unecessary lights. On, off...On, off...Binary stuff, I think...

DC, I moan for a laugh really.
The only time I don't is when she lights up my life!
And I am sure it's the case with OH!

14/12/05 10:06 AM  
Blogger Guyana-Gyal said...

Ha, I was just going to say something about women lighting up your lives, Dcver & Cream...

The fatal consequences of stealing electricity...the same here.

14/12/05 11:09 AM  
Blogger cream said...

"I got chills, they're multiplying and I'm losing control
Cause the power you're supplying, it's electrifying"
I'll do John Travolta and Karen, Olivia Newton John!

14/12/05 2:43 PM  
Blogger Caroline said...

Sounds like a fun game you play... Electric Santa Cream...

14/12/05 6:27 PM  
Blogger DCveR said...

Is it that obvious?!? LOL

14/12/05 7:46 PM  
Blogger cream said...

Dc, no it's not but just picture OH smiling and I am sure you'll understand what I mean!

Caro, a bit of Grease every now and then keeps a relationship well oiled!

14/12/05 9:07 PM  
Blogger juliana said...

I wonder what she would do if she lived in a third world country where the electricity was cut off for part of the day...

I don't like it when people do things like that. Waste electricity, gas, food, etc.

16/12/05 7:14 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home