Brightpool...

As it is nearly Christmas and I don't want to be a humbug I will not go on about the number of lights that adorn the house at this present moment.
Carla said something about electricity bill so here goes...

I sometimes get the feeling that Karen is keeping something away from me.

Like the fact that our house may be directly linked to the National Grid or that her great-great-grandfather was Thomas Edison and for his brilliant invention, all his descendants get free electricity for life.

She believes in switching on every light possible long before it gets dark and to a predestined pattern so that we are ready at all times to welcome an eventual visit from the Queen or the Pope.

Just before we go out, she switches on our bedroom’s three lamps, the landing light, just in case there is a stray Condorde in the area, the cooker hood light to give the kitchen a cozy feel, all the lights in the conservatory, maybe a couple of dozen candles and the fan heater just to keep the wooden animals warm.
The garden water feature is also left to whir away throughout the winter.

A conservative estimate of our electricity consumption would not be far from that of Blackpool Illuminations.
My vain protests invariably fall on deaf ears and usually lead to a long frosty spell.
“Scrooge should be your middle name, you!” she will snap.

Sometimes, on our way out, I will pretend to have forgotten something, slip back up to the bedroom and cunningly switch one of the lamps off.
On our return, Karen will not fail to notice the enormous black hole. She will check the bulb then scratch and shake her head.
I will be in the toilet hiding and sniggering like Muttley of the Wacky Races.

Most nights she goes to bed before me leaving all the downstairs lights on.

It is therefore my unwilling duty to do the rounds and switch everything off before I head for the sack.
“Cooker hood, check, dining room light, check, dining room standard lamp, check, dining room table lamp, check, conservatory, check…”

Half an hour later, I will get into bed glowing and buzzing with static.
...And she will wonder why I wake her up.

At Christmas, please feel free to add at least half an hour to the switching off duty.
The photo is a of a wind turbine situated about half a mile from our house.